What the Hoo?

Dear Shawn,

I never knew what he was saying. For nearly 30 years I’ve wondered what he was saying. Then the song came on the radio the other day on my way to the hotel in Honolulu. All evening it was stuck in my head, one of those ear worms that are even more annoying than normal because you don’t know what he’s singing, so you just sort of keep singing the words you’ve made up all these years. Only, I didn’t realize I’d made them up. I just thought he was cray-cray. Peter Cetera’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”.

It sounded like he was singing, “After all the hoo you’ve been through.” What is hoo? Is he too delicate to say Hell? “After all the Hell you’ve been through...” Why would he not be able to say Hell? Why does it bother some people to say Hell? It’s just a city in ancient times where trash was burned. It’s a fictional place in the Bible, not a cuss word. What the hoo is he singing?

With our smart phone technology, I broke down while on the beach, ignoring my personal no smartphones on the beach policy, and looked it up. Alas, the actual words are, “After all that you have been through.” How did we ever live without smartphones all those years ago?

There have been other songs I’ve not known the true words to. Sometimes, I find out. A year later I will hear the song and will have forgotten what the real words were. That’s frustrating.

Then, there are the songs I never want to sing the real words to. I give you my favorite- the Cool Aid Song (from Carol King’s “It’s Too Late”:

Oh, it’s cool-aid, baby, well, it’s cool aid/ And I really did try to make it/ But something inside the mix just died, and whatever you do, don’t taste it/ Oh noooo!

I know. Stick to my day job.