Domesticated Old Man

Dear Shawn,

I recall a conversation where you mentioned that you had never purchased a tablecloth, which I thought was funny since I joke about you living like a college student. I’d just moved to Houston and bought a new table. While in Santiago, Chile, I discovered an awesome home store that had the prefect tablecloth.

Even though I had lived in similar fashion to a college student until recently, there had been numerous occasions in my past when I’ve bought tablecloths. I’ve owned other tables that needed them, and I’ve bought seasonal ones for parties I’ve thrown- you know, a black one for my Halloween party, a red one for my Yule Celebration, and when I was president of the dorm in which I lived in college, I once bought a fleet of them for a dance I hosted. Actually, I doubt fleet is the right term for a metric ton of tablecloths. Also, it wasn’t really a metric ton, but I’m from Texas and strictly adhere to the Texas tall tales mandate on those of us from the Lone Star State.

Remember the time I bought a set of towels for you? I felt terrible for ripping your towel that you let me use, the one that must have been twenty years old, and finally gave way as I attempted to dry my back. I knew you’d never buy a new one, so I bought a set for you, because that’s the kind of friend I am. I hope you are enjoying the new towels. Now, thanks to you, whenever I buy domestic things for my new home, I think of you and how rare it is for you to shop for domestic items.

This week, I finally went out shopping for furniture; yeah, I’ve been living like a college student...only in my formal living and dining room. I found both a couch and a table at the local Star Furniture. Knowing how excited I am to finally furnish these rooms, imagine my grandmother’s! I’m sorry that you must have no idea how exciting it is buy a brand new couch and dining room set. Not used furniture from Craigslist or rescued from the dumpster, as I’ve done in the past (you should have seen the first couch I ever owned!).

Now I feel so much older than those college student days. There’s nothing more adult than having to wait for your furniture to be delivered. It’s going to feel like years!