Friends, Lovers or Brothers?

Dear Shawn,

When I go to Honolulu, there is a wall that separates the beach from the bar and restaurant at the Surfrider hotel. It’s under a huge Banyan tree and a few palms. I like to sit here and watch the sun rise and set. I awoke about an hour before the sunrise and made a Kona coffee with a shot of Bailey’s and went to this wall. When I arrived, I was the only soul in sight. That didn’t last very long. I ignored the others and sipped on my wonderful coffee drink.

Soon, two young men approached and sat near me on another part of the wall. They were young and handsome, made me think of you. The younger, thinner man wore a Cuban-like hat. The taller man with curly hair looked serious. I pretty much ignored them, like the rest of the life forms walking on two legs, until an older woman came walking up the beach. She wore a swim suit with a black, flowing top and was obviously old enough to be their mother. She took a seat next to the hatted man. The serious man with curls pretty much ignored her as he looked out to sea. So I played a new game, "Friends, Brothers or Lovers?”

The man in curls broke down and spoke to her. She was lively and fresh, for it being so early. Soon, they were joined by a taller man of the same age as the woman, clearly her husband. He also went to the side of the man with the hat, again, furthering my assumption that he was their son. So, was the taller man in curls a sibling, as well? There didn’t seem to be much warmth, however, he did converse with the father more than with the mother. If they were brothers, he was much more reserved. If friends, obviously not as close. If lovers, who knows? Not me.

Finally, another couple joined the party. The woman was a chunky woman of Asian descent, in her twenties and cute. She was with a young man about the same age as the other two. He was slender and tall and wore a strange shirt that seemed to have come right out of the 80s, with squares and circles of pastel hues. A camera was passed to the man in the hat for a photo of the couple, so I thought they may have been romantically inclined, but soon, I could hear the slender man speak and he sounded very effeminate. The came continued...only, friends, siblings or lovers?

The two young men eventually set off together, walking along the beach, side by side. I looked to see if they held hands or anything. I saw nothing but an occasional glance by the curly man at the man in the hat, who had now taken his shirt off. The younger couple didn’t seem to act like they were romantically inclined, as they sat on the wall with a few feet separating them. The older man had wandered off, only to return with coffee and danish for those who remained. I do love to people watch and try to figure things out.

I never got the full story on this little group. The young men didn’t seem to resemble one another as brothers, and other than the occasional glance by the man in curls to the man in the hat, there were no signs of a romantic nature. But then again, I don't look like my brother! It appears that in the game of “Friends, brothers or lovers,” there was no winner.

Coworker

Dear Shawn,

I’m working with a guy I’ve known since I moved to Houston. A few days after my move, I went to a party hosted by a fellow flight attendant. I met quite a few other flight attendants there, including a couple who I found out a few months later had broken up. Seems he was having an affair in Lima, Peru. She found out, they got a quick a divorce, and now they both have new significant others. He’s married the woman, she’s moved in and has a business with her new boyfriend.

I never knew them all that well. After the party, she and I became friends on Facebook. One day she asked me about my job, which was surprising to me, since I thought she was a flight attendant. Turns out she wasn’t, only he was. We’ve remained friends and she decided on another path that kept her feet more firmly on the ground.

Her ex and I were never as close. He knew we’d met at that party, but since we never got into a deep conversation and we never became friends on social media, we didn’t have any other connections. We see one another at work often, and always smile and say hello. I don’t know that he knows I’m on-line friends with his ex, and I never mention a word about it to him.

The first few times I saw him, he was friendly and jovial. He was fun to talk to, was a caring individual and it was difficult to see how he could cheat on his gorgeous wife so easily. The last few times I’ve flown with him, he seems much more withdrawn and reserved. He never joins when the crew goes for drinks after our flights to South America and he doesn’t seem to engage others in meaningful conversation during flight. He likes to work the galley, which tends to keep him away from people, for the most part.

Recently, we worked together again, and it wasn’t until after the initial service when I found out that his wife was on board! I thought it odd that he wouldn’t mention this in briefing with the crew before we left, as most would done, “Oh, hey, I’m bringing my wife, husband, sister, friend, on this flight today...”

I know this is petty, so I’ll apologize in advance, but as nice as she was, she was a bit homely- certainly not as attractive as his ex. Must be great in bed, as some say! He warmed up when she was around, but then got very rigid again when she was gone. I saw them together in the hotel at lunch. I approached to say hello. She smiled back at me and had pleasant eye contact, but didn’t really say anything. Odd, but then I realized that she mustn't speak English well.

On our flight home, I asked him where his wife was. He said she was staying in Peru. I asked if he had another trip down, back to back. It’s not uncommon for a flight attendant to do that- have two trips, and the other party remain for the day or so in between, and then they fly home together after the second trip. I was correct. She would be staying with friends. 

Turns out, she was from this South American city. Now, he didn’t say as much, but I assume they met on one of his layovers. That must be how the affair started. I wondered how long he had been dating her, going to South America, before his ex wife caught on. Such a shame.

It was nice to meet her and put the pieces of the puzzle together. I still like to fly with him, and I hope I get to know her better. I'll just not mention it to my other friend.