Let Us Entertain You

Dear Shawn,

Until the day I die, I may never understand why people don’t push the ashtray back in. For some reason, the functioning of the lavatory door seems to escape a great number of people. I see it nearly every time I fly. Someone approaches the lav door, looks it over, as if they are searching for something other than a bathroom, can’t seem to figure it out, and pulls out the ashtray, thinking that by doing so, it will open the door. Usually, the brain kicks in right after this, and the next thing they do is open the door, as if the ashtray tells them how to do it, but they never push the ashtray back in.  

Of course, planes are required to have ash trays, even these days after smoking has been banned on aircraft. The reason for this is that should someone actually light up, and it does happen, there must be a safe place to put it out, so we don’t have fires while in the air.

Perhaps the big mystery ends for them because once they pull it out, the brain kicks into gear. This leaves a puff of smoke, much like starting a go cart, and that puff of smoke clouds their thinking, so they forget to push the ashtray back in. It is an amazing thing to watch, how people from all walks of life can be so similar. We see this happen in all countries- Asia, South America, Europe, the USA- people are all the same.

We only have two types of doors on our planes at Mother Airlines- either they push in and fold in half, or it swings out with the turn of a lever. I’ve heard some flight attendants say, “Think of your trailer home,” because it really is the same kind of door knob you’d find on a travel trailer. When I see someone go for the ashtray, I tend to say, “Oh, no smoking please.” Others tell passengers immediately, how to open the door, “Push, ma’am. Push. No, just push,” (usually, it takes more than one telling for them to understand the concept). I don’t say anything- as this is my entertainment.

Watching passengers use the lav entertains many a flight attendant. We groan when we see people go in with bare feet or in only socks. We wrinkle our nose when they come out ahead of a smelly, green fog that wilts the wallpaper. We wonder about some being raised in a barn when they leave the lav door ajar as they head back to their seat. But, hey, we have to have ‘something’ amuse us on long flights, and we’re stuck right there. So if you fly, and can't figure out how to open the door, and end up pulling out the ashtray, please push it back in.