Loss of a Friend

Dear Shawn,

My heart is heavy. A friend of mine passed away. We weren’t very close. Our paths crossed on what was one of the most interesting cruise vacations of my life. In so many ways, it was one of the best cruises I’ve been on. I went on a two-week cruise across the Atlantic with a group of friends, but also, I met some really good people, many of whom I still keep in touch with today. We call ourselves our Spirit friends, that being the name of the ship. I saw some great sights, having stopped in the Azores, and then spent a week with my friends in Barcelona, which has become my favorite European city. In many ways, it was also the worst trip of my life. I hated the ship, broke up with the girl I was dating before we reached Spain, and had my wallet and camera with all of my photos stolen from my pocket in a Barcelona night club. So much good. So much bad.

Not too long after returning home, I got a Facebook message from a woman I’d met on the cruise. She and her husband had been part of the little on-line community that had formed prior to setting sail, which is how I came to meet so many people on board. There were so many people, I never really got the chance to know Marj and Ed, so all those months later, when I got her friend request, I didn’t recognize who she was. I at first denied the request, having a strict policy of only friending people I knew.

Once she refreshed my memory, I accepted her request, but there was some confusion surrounding a post she had made. An accusation was thrown my way for deleting a comment, which was not possible, because I didn’t have the ability to delete comments from another person’s thread, and some feelings may have been hurt.

We patched things up quickly, with a few back and forth notes and resumed. We kept in touch often and shortly after moving to Houston, she and her husband sent to me a cute little figurine of a penguin hugged by a bear. It was as if she were the bear and I the penguin. It sits on my shelf this very day.

A few days ago, I saw a post from her on Facebook, only it was not from her, but from her husband, who was using her account. He did so to inform her friends that she had stopped breathing during the night and crossed over. It was short and to the point. I was filled with sadness.

What really hit me, was then going to her Facebook page and seeing her recent posts. I’ve done this in the past when losing a friend on line. It’s so odd to see the mundane posts leading up to a point where then there are no more posts. Death. Life, life life. Death. It often comes so suddenly.

A few years ago, I lost a friend I had only recently begun to know better. My community was hit hard by his sudden and most untimely passing, which left a family without a father. Before that, a friend of mine committed suicide, and it was odd to go into his account and try to find signs of what was to come. And then, there was my dear friend, Coyote, who was killed in a tragic bicycle accident, once more, leaving a community completely devastated. Again, one could read the ordinary posts of a friend on line, and suddenly, the posts from those left behind, now missing someone dear.

Marj was not young, but she should have had many years left. I feel so bad for her husband. His post resulted in the expected shocked replies from her friends- mine included. But I couldn’t stop thinking about her and the penguin she had sent to me. I meet a lot of people, and not many take the time to send me a penguin (thank the gods, too! I’d have far too many to know what to do with, and now I’m trying to get rid of them!). So I went back on her page and left a simple little poem. She had told me how her husband had helped pick it out and wrap it up for me. I hope he remembers. Here’s to you, Marj!

My dear Marj to me gave a sweet penguin gift

For my sinking spirits in hopes to lift

Now that she has crossed and left us behind

My dear little penguin is now on my mind

Thank you Ed and thank you Marj

For your gifts of love show your spirits are large